I had a beautiful fairy friend....
She was a shining spirit - full of life and creativity....
But most of all - she was the embodiment of Pure, Unconditional Love....
She loved everybody - always smiling - always saying "hello Love", "goodbye Love"...
Always singing "Love, Love, Love"....
Her life was a work of art and her being was pure inspiration and joy....
I loved her - everyone she ever met loved her....
Then I found out she was brutally murdered....
She was in Asia - home alone - someone tried to rob her - she fought back and was stabbed to death....
Grief, shock and disbelief overcame me....
I could not get my head around it - I could not believe that this could happen to one of the most wonderful people on this earth....
she did not deserve to go like this....
I could not imagine the fear and terror she must have felt with her last breath....
the thought of it made me physically ill....
I understand that we all must die....
and yes, it's tragic that she had to pass - her time had come - etc....
But NOT like this - how could someone so peaceful and full of unconditional love and light suffer her last day of life like this....
This can not be the way - this is just not fair - this can't be the way the universe works - it just can't.....
A week had passed after I heard the news...
I couldn't come to terms with it....
I was listening to a Pema Chodron discourse on audio....
I was deep in a meditative state...
Then Pema Chodron said "whatever you choose to be aware of - the universe will serve up the opposite to help you become more aware...
if you want to practice patience - the universe will give you irritating situations so you can become aware of your impatience....
if you want to practice mindfulness - the universe will give you mind-less situations so you can become more aware...."
At that moment I received a download from the universe....
My friend was murdered because she believed in unconditional love.... she WAS the embodiment of Unconditional Love...
so she was killed in the worst way in order for her soul to practice and forgive and unconditionally love her killer....
This was her soul lesson...
If she did - her soul would not come back to this earth plane as a human - but ascend to the next realm of Angels and Muses....
The universe always unfolds for our greatest good - to bring our souls closer to source....
The universe only gives you what you can handle.... and her soul must have been so close to pure that she could handle it....
otherwise it wouldn't have been so....
This was the message I received....
and at that moment I felt like I understood....
and an awesome presence of peace came over me....
"she can do it" - I thought... she can transcend....!
I wholeheartedly believed this message - I truly believed that she was liberated from the mortal bondage of death and re-birth and that she has now gone to somewhere higher - where her love and light could do so much more profound work than on this human realm...
Today they found her killer....
he sold the things he had stolen from her home for $300...
that was all her life was worth... 300 dollars....
And instantly, that peace I had felt before vanished....
Instead I heard a voice in my head telling me that what I had realized before - what I thought was a download from the universe - was just my mind's way of rationalizing this heinous crime.... because I could not emotionally handle her death....
The voice said that there is no justice in this universe....
and that my friends death was just a cold, cruel, accident - it could happen to anybody - it just happened to be one of the most precious creatures on the planet....
If this is true - if there really is no rhyme or reason - if it just happened to be wrong place - wrong time - then I am not sure I can go on...
Then this whole world is pointless.... and everything is just random....
and there is no use to try to love - to try to help - to try to heal....
if this could just "happen" - then there is no karma - no wrong or right....
I want to believe that what my insight from the universe revealed was real - that there is some sort of order to this universe - some sort of soul evolution - some sort of kind universally all-loving spirit that guides us for our highest and greatest good....
but my mind is telling me that it's just a big rationalization and that the universe just exists - it is indifferent - and doesn't really care one way or the other...
it just goes on....
I don't know which one is real anymore...
I don't know what is real anymore...
I don't know what the point of this existence is....
I am feeling confused, cynical and a bit schizophrenic by all of this....
any insights from this tribe will be a great help in helping me to sort this tragedy out and come to some sort of terms....
Thank you for just letting me blurt this all out...
She was a shining spirit - full of life and creativity....
But most of all - she was the embodiment of Pure, Unconditional Love....
She loved everybody - always smiling - always saying "hello Love", "goodbye Love"...
Always singing "Love, Love, Love"....
Her life was a work of art and her being was pure inspiration and joy....
I loved her - everyone she ever met loved her....
Then I found out she was brutally murdered....
She was in Asia - home alone - someone tried to rob her - she fought back and was stabbed to death....
Grief, shock and disbelief overcame me....
I could not get my head around it - I could not believe that this could happen to one of the most wonderful people on this earth....
she did not deserve to go like this....
I could not imagine the fear and terror she must have felt with her last breath....
the thought of it made me physically ill....
I understand that we all must die....
and yes, it's tragic that she had to pass - her time had come - etc....
But NOT like this - how could someone so peaceful and full of unconditional love and light suffer her last day of life like this....
This can not be the way - this is just not fair - this can't be the way the universe works - it just can't.....
A week had passed after I heard the news...
I couldn't come to terms with it....
I was listening to a Pema Chodron discourse on audio....
I was deep in a meditative state...
Then Pema Chodron said "whatever you choose to be aware of - the universe will serve up the opposite to help you become more aware...
if you want to practice patience - the universe will give you irritating situations so you can become aware of your impatience....
if you want to practice mindfulness - the universe will give you mind-less situations so you can become more aware...."
At that moment I received a download from the universe....
My friend was murdered because she believed in unconditional love.... she WAS the embodiment of Unconditional Love...
so she was killed in the worst way in order for her soul to practice and forgive and unconditionally love her killer....
This was her soul lesson...
If she did - her soul would not come back to this earth plane as a human - but ascend to the next realm of Angels and Muses....
The universe always unfolds for our greatest good - to bring our souls closer to source....
The universe only gives you what you can handle.... and her soul must have been so close to pure that she could handle it....
otherwise it wouldn't have been so....
This was the message I received....
and at that moment I felt like I understood....
and an awesome presence of peace came over me....
"she can do it" - I thought... she can transcend....!
I wholeheartedly believed this message - I truly believed that she was liberated from the mortal bondage of death and re-birth and that she has now gone to somewhere higher - where her love and light could do so much more profound work than on this human realm...
Today they found her killer....
he sold the things he had stolen from her home for $300...
that was all her life was worth... 300 dollars....
And instantly, that peace I had felt before vanished....
Instead I heard a voice in my head telling me that what I had realized before - what I thought was a download from the universe - was just my mind's way of rationalizing this heinous crime.... because I could not emotionally handle her death....
The voice said that there is no justice in this universe....
and that my friends death was just a cold, cruel, accident - it could happen to anybody - it just happened to be one of the most precious creatures on the planet....
If this is true - if there really is no rhyme or reason - if it just happened to be wrong place - wrong time - then I am not sure I can go on...
Then this whole world is pointless.... and everything is just random....
and there is no use to try to love - to try to help - to try to heal....
if this could just "happen" - then there is no karma - no wrong or right....
I want to believe that what my insight from the universe revealed was real - that there is some sort of order to this universe - some sort of soul evolution - some sort of kind universally all-loving spirit that guides us for our highest and greatest good....
but my mind is telling me that it's just a big rationalization and that the universe just exists - it is indifferent - and doesn't really care one way or the other...
it just goes on....
I don't know which one is real anymore...
I don't know what is real anymore...
I don't know what the point of this existence is....
I am feeling confused, cynical and a bit schizophrenic by all of this....
any insights from this tribe will be a great help in helping me to sort this tragedy out and come to some sort of terms....
Thank you for just letting me blurt this all out...
posted by:
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Brother, I am deeply sorry for your troubles. Please visit www.myspace.com/weareallatribeoflove
The truth lies there, and it is the key to immortality.
The World is about to be perfect. Please stick around to enjoy the fun.
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If you go back and read your own post, you will find that you have answered your own questions. What is the opposite of what you are experiencing? What are you trying to be more aware of?
And would you rather believe a message from spirit, or your mind chatter? Anyone who has lived any time at all on this planet has had enough junk "dumped" into the mind to make any communication from mind suspect, at best.
I am not condemning mind. It is a useful tool. It is just not an effective builder. The builder decides how to use the tool, not the other way around.
Just something to think about.
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I had the exact same thought as Cathy when I read your post.
You have already answered your question. An in fact, the karmic lesson of your friends goregous life and horrific death is there for us all to see. A teacher of mine, Vic Baranco, used to say, "You don't get points for loving the pretty ones."
Ask yourself, now that killer has been found, what would your friend do? This is the real test.
Like Cathy, I don't believe that unconditional love means you leave your mind behind. However, I think the place to start is in your heart, listening to the God of your own heart, your spirit; who has already spoken to you so eloquently.
As you say, your friend passed the test. So can you, you are so close. It's just a choice - love/compassion or rage/aetheism.
Remember, the love is for you. Ultimately you are the only one who can have it. We give love , so we can experience love.
Thanks for the chance to reflect on this, to have more love in my life. The story of your friend's life and death is a huge gift to me. Thanks for sharing it. Very generous of you. -
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BEautifully spoken.
The love IS for us. The only love we can experience is that which is within us.
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Thank you Cathy & Oceana for your replies....
When I read the above posts - I saw it too...! I realized that it's so much easier to see outside yourself rather than inside...
I guess it's the nature of reality - this duality....
and in the meantime I am choosing love over apathy, and will continue believing in my angels & muses....
and trusting in our highest divinity - our LOVE!
That doesn't mean that it's opposite doesn't exist...
but for now I am just learning to love what is....
Thank you.... -
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Thank you for opening and sharing your journey.
We learn by teaching. We teach by inquiring and listening.
Though our paths vary, we are in this journey together.
May I recommend that you find someone to hug? - someone who is not in a hurry and will allow you the time you need to enjoy the comfort of loving arms. And if you don't know anyone like that, the best way to experience it is to be that person for someone else.
Love and blessings,
Cathy
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